Author’s note: This story is set in an alternate, darker Pokemon world. The characters remain more or less unchanged, but their situations and backgrounds are not the same as in the TV show. Changes and twists were thought up by ME. Spoilers would include the entire series, but, for the sake of understanding, events in this part of the story are based on information and events from "Bad to the Bone" and "Snow Way Out."

Trust in Darkness
by Blackswan15
(Meredith C.)

Part One

Listen as the wind blows
From across the great divide,
Voices trapped in yearning,
Memories trapped in time,
The night is my companion and solitude my guide.

-Sarah McLachlan, Possession

"Do you know why I first let you back in here, Musashi? It wasn’t because of your own talent- god knows, you haven’t got any- or your mother’s, the bitch. No, it was for Kojiro."

The words stop rolling over me in suffocating waves and slap me right in the face.

"Thought you were the leader, didn’t you, Musashi? Well, he may have followed you, but you... you went exactly where I lead you."

I’m just standing there before him, mute, hands clenched at my sides. I can’t start crying, can’t show that everything he says is stabbing into my stomach like a needle.

"You see, I needed you to teach him a lesson for me. About trust. And partnership. And how you can never believe in either of them.

"You can see why I chose you, of course. I know how your mother left you. You were just as lost, just a needy as he was. But I knew that sooner or later your true nature would come through. Blood will out. You are your mother’s daughter."

Yes. Despite everything, I am my mother’s daughter. I can’t tear her claws out of my soul.

"Indeed," he continues softly, hissing to himself. "Blood...will...out." He chuckles, a nasty little sound deep in his throat. "Poor little Musashi Now that you’ve played your part, I’m afraid you’re quite... expendable."

For the first time during our interview, I look up at him, head thrust forcibly back by surprise.

When he called me here, I knew he’d heard of my attempt to leave Rocket Dan. I had abandoned my partner and stolen for my own benefit. And I knew what that meant. In some dull, unconnected way, I had expected punishment for my betrayal. But I was a senior member, and had always managed to slip out of trouble before.

With, maybe.. a little help from Kojiro.

I had never considered death. But I could see in Sakaki’s eyes exactly how dangerous my position had just become.

I had known there would be pain. I had thought of torture, physical and mental. I had terrified myself with thoughts so dark no human being could ever execute them. I had cried, wondering if I would be demoted, or told to leave the team forever.

Leave Kojiro.

I never had a chance to tell him my plan. Take the badges we’d stolen and pawn them, get us the money we couldn’t seem to earn. Then return to our camp an take him an Nyase away with me, to somewhere where Sakaki couldn’t find us.

As if there was such a place.

I should have told him before I started, but I thought it was too much of a risk. That would have made him an accomplice. I had to keep him innocent.

So he was going to live the rest of his life thinking I had betrayed him, believing the lie Sakaki had carefully taught him. He would never learn the truth.

Because I was going to die.

Yes, I had thought of everything that might happen to me. But I hadn’t believed that it would. It was all detached from me. As if I was considering somebody else’s life. It couldn’t really happen.

And I’d never dreamed of death.

Sakaki is waiting, silently, for me to return to myself. I know that it isn’t out of kindness that he’s giving me this time to come to grips with my fate. He’s watching my face eagerly, savoring every emotion. Shock. Disbelief. Anger. Loss.

Oh Kojiro! He’s manipulated you even better than he has me. You think I was disloyal to my own teammate, my only friend.

And even so, when I got the summons, you comforted me. You, with the hurt fresh in your eyes. I had no time to tell you before the call came, and afterwards, I was too worried, too caught in my own fears to speak. Still you held my hand, gave me your silent support. Still we were partners.

Sakaki is wrong. You haven’t learned your lesson as well as he thinks.

Sakaki... he has grown tired of his game.

"You will be reassigned," he tells me, and for one wild moment my heart leaps. "You are no longer a member of Rocket Dan. I am sending you to the labs."

I can’t breath, can’t blink. I won’t cry.

He smiles. "What? All your strength gone? No curses for me?"

I won’t cry.

"You could at least plead." His smile becomes wider. "I could show mercy to you, Musashi. There is one thing I’ve always wondered about you. Did you inherit your mother’s-"

I spit. The white specks spatter against his red jacket.

His face remains frozen as his finger reaches for the button that will call in his personal guard. "I see. Rebellious to the last."

"You can’t do this!" I scream, voice rushing from me as the doors behind me open.

"You’ve been a part of this since before you were born. By now, you should know what I can do."

"Wait!" I shout as gloved hands grab me above the elbows. "What- what will happen to Kojiro?"

"Without you? He will rise. I already have a new partner waiting for him." He pauses, waiting until I’ve been dragged almost to the door. "Your sister."

Everything goes black.

I lurch upward, shaking, the swat cool on my face and hot under my shirt. It’s alright, I’m alright, they haven’t done anything to me yet.

It’s only a matter of time.

I can’t stop crying. Musashi, strong, silent, unfeeling Musashi, and I just can’t. I have no protective walls anymore, they’ve been broken down by the suffocation and terror of my cell.

The Labs. I'm in the Labs.

I’d never seen them, but I’d hear of them, of course. They taught Nyase how to talk. Taught, as in experimented. Altered Hurt.

He won’t say what they did. He doesn’t have to.

How many days has it been since the scene in Sakaki’s office? I can’t count time here. Perhaps that’s for the best, though. A clock would drive me crazy. If I’m not crazy now.

I lie back down and curl in around myself. As always, my mind falls into the circle. The never-ending meeting with Sakaki.

Sakai...Kojiro...My Sister.

How could they give him to her? I’m bad enough, she’s heartless. Maybe she’s more subtle than I am, but it’s worse, too. She’ll bite you in the hear and you won’t realize it until you see the bloodstains.

She’s not my full sister. Oh no, my mother was too much of a bitch for that.. Whoever her father was, he gave her something twisted. She lives for pain, but she can hide that behind a mask of beauty. And she is more beautiful, although I would never have told her so. Better at everything. Mama’s favorite.

And now they’ve given her Kojiro.

God, she’ll eat him alive. My lovely, poison sister.

Yamato.

At least he won’t trust her. He knows I have her, even if he doesn’t know the real reason why. We would have died before we admitted kinship.

How could they give her Kojiro?

He’ll die. I’m going to die.

He’s with her now.

Yamato.

They’ll kill me.

Kojiro...

Summer. Summertime in the mountains. Usually it’s nothing but snow here, but today it’s green and I can feel the sun heating my hair and pinking my neck and ears.

I know this place.

Of course I do. This was home.

There’s a basket in my hands and the sweet, candy-like taste of old berry juice in my mouth.

Oh no. Not that day.

Laughing, I run down the mountainside, slipping roughly from rock to rock, , careful not to let the little red treasures fall from my basket. Scraggly bushes snatch at my clothes as I push through them.

"Yamaaaato!"

Giggling, biting my lip to keep the full laughter in, I fling my arms around my sister, hugging her from behind.

Please. Let me wake up now.

She pushed me away roughly, elbow connecting with my bony child’s chest. I fall, hands scratched and torn as I throw them behind me to brace myself. I can’t even feel them except as a dull red heat. I stare at my sister in shock.

The berries have flown from my basket. Spilled into the crevices in the rocks.

"Go away," she growls.

And behind her, there is an answering sound. A keening wail that ends in a whimper of pain.

Yamato... she has a knife in her hands.

It’s wet.

Her fingers are stained.

Red.

The creature cries again. Calmly, Yamato slips the bloody blade into her pocket. "Get out of here."

I stand, shaking. My big sister has a knife. Life on her hands and death in her eyes. What is she doing?

I dart around her outstretched hands, then cry and crumple in surprise.

It’s a pokemon. A baby. As I land on my knees beside it, it raises its head an spits defiance. "Aaaarbo!" Its eyes are wide and full of pain.

It has a sharp wooden stick thrust through its tail and into the ground. A mass of tiny cuts decorate its back.

I can hear Yamato move in behind me. "So now you know."

I turn and look up at her. "You didn’t do this. Did you?"

She looks away, refusing to meet my eyes. Uncomfortable. "Musa-chan..."

"You’re killing it!" I shout.

She slaps me. A red handprint remains on my cheek. Sticky, coppery red. "Shut up! What’s it to you? It’s just an animal!"

And I’m just your sister. "Leave it alone!"

I bend over the creature’s tail and grip the stick. Gritting my teeth, I pull. A child’s tears are streaming out of my newly adult eyes.

The arbo is holding very still under my hands.

I don’t consider the danger, just gather it into my arms. "I’m going home, Yamato."

Home. No. Don’t go home.

I back away, tripping over the scrub. She’s just standing there, watching me.

But her hand is reaching into her pocket.

I dive into the cover of the bushes.

We wait together, arbo and I. We can hear her searching, getting further away.

The front of my shirt and pants are covered in blood.

At last I stand up, crooning to the little pokemon in my arms. "Shhh, shh. We’re going home. Poor baby. It’s okay."

Don’t. Go. Home.

Wake up!

I’m awake.

The flickering light from the ceiling makes my hands glow as I hold them before my face. Pale.

No blood.

Arbok. I left him with Kojiro.

He’s with Yamato.

She’ll kill Arbok, if she finds out he’s there. She hates him.

Because he lived.

I’m going to die.

She’s taken them all.

How can they...

I’m not Yamato.

Sometimes, I act like her. Cruel and violent. Unfeeling. But I’m not. I just have to fight back. An eye for an eye. If you don’t do that, they’ll take something else. Never let anyone near you. I lived by that for so long, I couldn’t change. It was how I was brought up.

I think... Kojiro understood that.

He never complained. Maybe that made it worse. I wanted to stop, but I didn’t know how. And he... he made it so easy to hurt him, and so hard. Because he knew I never really wanted to, so he made sure I didn’t.

Face facts, Musashi. You were never the strong one in that relationship.

Kojiro.

My only support.

I lead the team, because he let me.

And now he thinks I left him. Betrayed his ultimate trust.

I know enough about his past to know how hard it must have been for him to keep his faith in life. And love.

And truth.

And trust.

My poor partner.

I was a bitch and he was an angel.

How could I?

I’ll never see him again.

Sakaki, someday I’ll make you pay for this.

For Kojiro.

Oh God. I’ve lost Kojiro.

End of Part One

So, what do you think so far? Interested? Disgusted? Confused? Can't wait for part two? Tell me now! I know it's dark, but I'm hoping ya'll still think it's a good story. Coming next: What's going through Kojiro's head now? And what will Yamato do now that she's on the Team?

Any suggestions, comments, feedback? E-mail Meredith ata_rose_4_james@hotmail.com