By
Allan North
What follows is a section of the diary of Raven Koldron. Absorb from its pages what you will, and draw your own conclusions.
February 15
My sister is in trouble. She’s had her baby girl for a little over four years now, and she’s still involved with that gang, that group of thieves and killers. I don’t know what I can do to help her. I’m afraid that Carrie dug this hole years ago, and now… well I have no idea how she could ever hope to get out again.
Team Rocket has their talons in everything, in every part of her life and she can’t see it for the way it truly is. I fear that it’s only a matter of time before she ends up on the wrong side of their guns. She insists that they’ll let her go in time, but I sincerely doubt it. If they were willing to do that, they would have already by now.
For months, I
have had thoughts running through my mind…
Dreaming, thinking,
wondering, I suppose…
wondering if a trade-off is possible.
Carrie’s told me of the leader of this Team,
the one they only call “Madam Boss”
before, and she sounds as if
she may be reasonable enough to take the offer.
It seems like a fair trade to me…
my life for Carrie’s. Take
me and let my sister and niece go. It’s
a hard decision to try to make, and
a hard choice to come to, but
perhaps it’s worth a try. I
don’t want to see my only sister and niece end up dead because the Team deemed
them a threat…
March 3
There’s a chill in the air this morning, and my outfit isn’t helping me at all. A mini-skirt and a bare midriff… It certainly doesn’t seem like a practical choice for a uniform to me. Well, at least I’m getting a shot at this. Madam Boss has agreed to let Carrie go if I commit to them. Naturally, I agreed in a heartbeat, which was exactly the wrong thing to do. Now I actually have to prove that I wasn’t just jumping at it by serving for three whole years before she’ll release Carrie! I guess the worst part of all is the fact that I can’t even tell Carrie about this through the course of the three years. I hadn’t opted to tell her right out, for fear that the deal would not go through, and now I’m waiting to be shipped off to some camp in Pewter City for my basic training with orders to tell nobody of my destination. Carrie’s the only family I have left, and that makes this all the harder. God, I thought my tears were hitting the page for a second, before I realized that it had started to rain. I’m huddled under a shelter now, along with other agents awaiting the transport. I see it coming in the distance now. I guess I’m on my way.
March 10
A whole week I’ve been here. It feels like an eternity. Lectures for the first three days on Pokemon, gym leaders, gyms, trainers, laws…. And everyday, the workouts. Calisthenics, running, endurance tests… ugh. Just today, though, we moved to some thing new… weapons and artillery. Finally, things may actually get interesting. I know it’s a morbid thing to think, but today, watching the mentor show us all those weapons… I couldn’t get over their… well, beauty. The polished blue steel, the wooden stocks, and the gleam of the ammunition… Perhaps I have a diversion to make this more bearable.
March 13
I had my first time on the rifle range today! It was an indescribable feeling out there… a sense of pure power to be holding such a weapon in my hands. The mentor watched me closely, and even he said he was impressed, that I seemed like a natural. Indeed, my shots all seemed to land on target or very close from that .22 caliber rifle. All this has actually made me think… if I am a natural with weapons, I may even be in a stronger position to bargain with Madam Boss. Surely a specialist is worth more barter than just an ordinary recruit… Well, it’s late and I must be to bed. An early start awaits me tomorrow morning, when we begin training on handguns and on combat with armed opponents. One part of me is scared, the other can hardly wait. This is undeniably a skill I possess, even if I never would have thought it possible before. It’s a skill I’ll have to develop….
March 14
I just woke up slumped on my bed with my face resting on my diary. I can’t believe it’s morning already. Could 5 or 6 hours have really passed? God, I’m tired, but I know I can’t sleep. I can hear the call of our instructor as he marches toward our quarters. His name is Joshua, and he’s a young Rocket who just made the rank of Black Rocket. He’s banging on my quarter’s doors now… It’s time.
March 17
Has it really been three days since my last entry? Amazing… My instructor Joshua sees real potential in me, or at least that’s what he says. I notice that often he seems to be more impressed with my body than with the skills I’m developing with the weapons. Still, even he has to realize that I scored the highest of the new female recruits on the target practice. I was just so on today, every shot was perfect. When I’m firing that weapon, it’s like the world around me ceases to exist… all its worries, all its cares, just seem to float away and all I can see is what is truly important… I have to make it all the way. I must. Carrie and little Annie will be free only when I make it. Only then. It’s so late now, but I can’t sleep at all. I’ve taken a pep pill I stole from the infirmary, and as soon as I know the lights in the instructor’s quarters are out, I’m on my way to the target range. I must, I will get the edge on the rest of them… I have to.
April 13
This entry is to say… that there is nothing to say. I look at these entries I have recorded, and I scoff at that amateur that came into this outfit less that a mere two months ago. The distance I’ve come, the progress I’ve made… It’s amazing how strong I feel. At least 4 nights a week now, I sneak away to the target range with a silencer. Even in the dark, I’ve become a great shot. Oh, maybe not perfect, but still damned good. In less than a week, the review board of Master Black Rockets will be here to review the new recruits and determine their fitness for service. I am sure to be placed in a good position. Soon, I will be where I deserve to be. Looking back, I have to admit that when Carrie told me that she was pregnant, I was jealous. Very jealous. I wanted a child so badly, and Carrie ends up with one. It was all I could do to try to live through her. In all reality, however, it was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. I never would have joined the Team without having her to save, and I never would have found this happiness. Setting her free will still be my pleasure, but so will be accepting this position that I have chosen. Someday, I will be one of the best, one of the elite of the Team. I can feel it. I can feel it stronger than most anything I’ve ever experienced before in my life…
April 18
Joshua. I will hate that name for as long as I live. The rotten, scheming, lying, lustful bastard! Oh, I came out on top, all right. My shooting and skill with the handguns was the best of anyone, and the review board of Black rockets knew that. They had to have known that. After the trial had been completed, we had been sent back to our quarters as the review board met to discuss us. A couple hours later, I get called into Joshua’s office, being told that he has some news for me. It’s there that he reveals that the review board ranked me as one of the best, and was actually offering me a specialist position in the tactical weapons division of their forces in Pewter City. I was so overjoyed, and I asked him how I went about accepting the position. That was when he locked his office door behind me and walked around me in a tight circle. “Well, now, that depends on how well you do the physical exam I have to give you.” He said. I stiffened a bit, nervously. This was making me uneasy. Before I knew it, Joshua was all over me, grabbing me like an octopus. Fortunately, I had paid some attention during hand-to-hand combat training, and I was able to get him off of me with a good punch to the gut and a kick to the crotch, but I know it wasn’t what he had wanted. His last words to me before he had a Grunt escort me back to my quarters under orders of confined arrest were, “You blew it, Koldron. You could’ve had it all. You could’ve been on the top. Now you just blew it, you stupid bitch!” Oh, God, what if I have? What if I’m chucked out of here for that? I mean, I know Joshua has superiors on that review board to answer to, but what if they take his side in all this? What if I’ve blown my chance to have something that I am the best at, the chance to develop this skill I’ve found? Oh, God, and what of Carrie and Annie? I know I did what was right to Joshua, but should I have done it nonetheless? God, I just wish I knew what was going to come…
April 21
The wondering is over. I may have pissed Joshua off for not being a good little slut for him, but even he couldn’t dismiss the judgment of the Black Rocket reviewers. Therefore, I am being given an assignment as a White Rocket in the Andes base of operations. I got the news and was stunned. The ANDES? I’m supposed to go freeze in the mountains? I could hardly believe it. Well, I made my bed and I have to sleep in it, since I wouldn’t take Joshua’s bed. I suppose the strangest thing about this is that my orders say this is a two-year assignment. I can hardly fathom being stuck out there for two whole years. No chance of even accidentally seeing Carrie all the way out there. I’ve just finished packing the personal effects I’m being allowed to take, and a transport will be here in about an hour to take me and the other recruits to Viridian, where we will each change transports to be shuttled off to our assigned bases. I notice from the roster that I seem to be the only agent slated for the Andes. Gee, I can hardly imagine why. Fucking Joshua.
April 22 (Very early in the morning)
It’s been almost 2 hours since my flight left the private Team airstrip in Viridian, and the sights haven’t changed much at all out the window. God, this plane is freezing. I’m wrapped up in a parka over my White Rocket uniform. I got so used to the spring warmth during basic training in Pewter City, and I was totally unprepared for this. Ugh, I hate night flights. All one can do on a night flight is look out the window and see the world swallowed up by the inky darkness. At least on a day flight you can look and see the white of the clouds, the blue of the ocean, SOMETHING. My only companion on this miserable journey is this young, redheaded trainee called Virgil. I’ve never encountered another recruit quite like him, one who has such a sense of optimism and adventure mashed together to make one big ball of excitement and energy. For the time, his energy seems to have given out, as he’s passed out exhausted in the seat next to me, huddled tightly in his own parka. He looks so innocent right now, sleeping peacefully… it’s hard to believe he’s a member of the same criminal syndicate that has taught me about my own hidden talents. Keep warm, Virgil. The snow outside has been flying since we left the general area of the Orange Islands, and entered into the flurries of the mountain heights. It’s cold in the plane, I can only imagine how cold it must be outside. Nothing to be done now but wrap up and stay warm…
April 25
Commander Henry Evans is amazing. I’ve been here at this base for only three days, and already he’s reviewed my file and placed me exactly where I was hoping to be put: working in the arsenal of the base. I couldn’t be happier with my assignment here… I could almost thank Joshua for being a pig. I mean, these weapons… they aren’t just mere implements of destruction. The rifles, the handguns, they’re each a piece of art. However, nothing about any of these weapons can come close to my newfound love, a weapon I’ve affectionately nicknamed Destruction Perfection… The TR-576 Bazooka. It’s plated chrome casing shines with a beauty, a flawlessness that completely contradicts its destructive capabilities. I am so glad that Henry isn’t just an ass like Joshua was. His second in command, Mogren, is a different story. He knows that I know what I’m doing, and it just kills him. I’m sure he wanted a man for this position, ‘cause he’s been keeping a close eye on me all day as I’ve cleaned and maintained the weapons in the arsenal, as if waiting for me to make a mistake that he can call me on. He knows that I know he’s watching me, and yet he doesn’t seem to care. In fact, sometimes I see him watching me with his hard, old-boys-club attitude, and I swear he’s afraid of me. How’s THAT for power, huh? Heh, heh, heh…
April 29
I’m exhausted. All day was spent doing a physical weapons inventory for Commander Evans, one I’m sure he ordered at Mogren’s suggestion. To top it all off, Mogren himself actually came down in the middle of it all. “It’s strange” he said to me, “to see a woman doing this. You do realize that the man you replaced is spinning in his grave.” It was all I could do to remind myself that this man was still my superior officer. I smiled tightly and simply replied as calmly as I could that I still had much to do. That was when Mogren turned away from me, and his hand “accidentally” bumped a bottle of lubricating oil onto the inventory sheets I had completed. The pig then walked out with a smirk, muttering to himself about how we’d all be in jail in a week with this “stupid White-Rocket chick” running the armory. Now I know exactly what I must accomplish during my 2 years here… I must, I will prove Mogren wrong. Some way, somehow, I will. I may not destroy his precious old boy network, but I can certainly cause him a few headaches as a payback for all this grief.
July 10
So much time has passed. I’ve been so busy lately that I can hardly believe this much time has really gone by. I’ve wanted to write in my diary for a while, but for a time I had misplaced it. Finally tonight I found it again and I have my chance.
I should start by saying that everyday since my last entry I’ve been using my off-duty time to brave the cold and sneak away to the target range. For quite a while, nobody knew about this. My off-duty time was all mine, and it didn’t matter where I was or what I was doing. Then yesterday something happened. I had just fired a round from a bazooka when I heard the roar of a truck’s engine and the snarl of Mogren’s voice over a bullhorn. “Koldron! Get that weapon down NOW!” he had ordered. I was stunned into compliance as his truck pulled closer to me and he stepped out, his black parka flapping in the wind. He asked me just what the hell I thought I was doing. When I told him I was practicing, I knew immediately that I had said the wrong thing. Even over the howl of wind, I could hear his little snort. He grabbed by bazooka and my case of shells from the ground and told me that this was a man’s weapon, one I had no business whatsoever using. That was when he ordered me into his truck to see Commander Evans. Mogren threw the weapon and ammo in the back, obviously not caring if he damaged the equipment. He’d probably blame me if he did, anyway. I knew, of course, how close Henry and Mogren are, and all I could think was that I had finally blown it for sure. My chance to prove myself was going to disappear in these mountains.
20 minutes later, I was waiting outside Henry’s office like a kid in trouble waiting to see the principal. Even through the closed door, I could hear Mogren ranting as he laid it all out for his friend… the unauthorized use of the range, the waste of shells, and the fact that “that Koldron bitch” wasn’t staying in her place. After about ten minutes of this, the door opened and Mogren walked out, a satisfied smirk on his face. DIE, I thought as he held the door open for me with an evil smile. I entered Henry’s office expecting to be punished, demoted, or worse. The Commander, however, had a slight smile on his face. I couldn’t tell immediately if this was good or bad. He said that he understood that I had been using the target range. I could only nod in reply. He went on to say that Group Captain Mogren felt that my actions were grounds for punishment. I held my breath, awaiting the worst. I could just see Mogren outside of the office, listening by the door, waiting for the axe to fall. Would I be demoted? Reassigned? Killed? The Team did not take infractions lightly, and my use of the range had been unauthorized… What Henry said next shook me out of my trance. He told me that he was intrigued and that he wanted to know exactly how good my aim was with a bazooka. I replied back that I was a fair shot, but not an expert. Henry remained silent for a moment, then told me that I had two months. I asked him what he meant by this.
“2 months.” He replied. “Two months to become an expert.” He went on to say that he had just lost his best marksman with large-grade weapons. I knew who he meant immediately. Black Rocket Ethan MacGregor. Many times I had signed out weapons to that Rocket. I appreciated him. He seemed to share my passion for these things, these little pieces of art. Turns out that Ethan had been busted while on a mission with some others two days prior, and that he had been ordered to not bail Ethan out of jail, as the risk of exposure was just too great. Ethan was being sentenced to time in a prison in a village somewhere down in the neighboring countries, and his return anytime soon was unlikely. Henry told me that I had two month’s fully authorized use of the range, and that after that two months, I would go before a review board of Black Rockets who would test my skills. If I am everything they want me to be, I will be made a Black Rocket Weapons Tech. If not, Evans will bust me to Grunt status and reassign me. I was then told to go out and get practicing. This all could not be falling into place any better for me! Soon, I’ll advance in rank AND give myself a distraction while I wait out my time here to prepare my case to Madam Boss. The best part of all this is… Mogren can’t touch me! YES!
August 12
It’s been a little over a month since my last entry. Sadly, time is all too well spoken for here, and time for an activity such as this is very precious and rare. As for what I have to report… Mogren hasn’t made it easy on me at all. I had thought he couldn’t touch me, but he’s found ways around my free use of the range, the bastard. He’s ordered weekly spot-check weapons inspections and overhauls, in the name of efficiency, he claims. This has doubled my workload, but I STILL have managed to find a way almost every day to get away to the range to practice with a bazooka. My aim has improved greatly, as has my ability to compensate for bad conditions such as high winds, darkness, low visibility, and the like. I’m still not quite sure what my chances are of passing the review board, but things are looking better each day for it. God, I’m so tired… and I have duty in 5 hours. Time to crash…
August 31
My work is about to pay off. I can feel it. My aim has improved so much. I could never have guessed it when all this started that this skill would become such a passion to me. This review board will be something. Really something. It’ll be nothing like the fiasco with that slime ball Joshua. Finally, I know it… everyone will know, and everyone, even Mogren himself, will admit… I am all that I know myself to be. Henry just contacted me to remind me and to ask me if I felt ready. Ha. I’ve never been more ready for anything in my life. The review is in three days. One last day with a practice tomorrow, then a day of rest, and then… then my time will finally come. I will succeed. I know it to be true.
September 4
Today’s the day, and my stomach is churning. I just woke up, and for the first time, I’m beginning to wonder if perhaps I’m not ready for this like I thought. I mean, I know I’m good. I’m one hell of a shooter, especially considering the size of the weapons I handle, but…what if I’m not what the review board wants? What if I’m just fooling myself? What if I blow this and fail Carrie? Oh, God… What have I gotten myself into? I can hear a chopper overhead now… It must be the Black Rockets and the member of the elite Red Guard that Henry asked to come. A welcome breakfast at the Command Mess, and then they’ll want magic… I just hope I can deliver. Oh, God, help me… let me be what they want me to be…
September 5
The late night sky is beautiful. So peaceful, so tranquil. It’s a perfect backdrop for fireworks, which is exactly what I managed to deliver to that review board. I was so unbelievably ON, that even Mogren had to acknowledge it. I could see him glaring at me the whole time as he, Henry, the Black Rockets, and the Red Officer tracked me with the course he and Henry had prepared for me a few days back in a restricted zone of the Base. Even away from the range, on a plot of land that I had not encountered before, I was able to pull it off. Leave it to Mogren to try to ruin it, of course… he suggested to the group that I had to have snuck over and spied on the course beforehand. I was furious, but I held my reaction in check as the review board scratched their heads and considered this, Finally, the Red Officer spoke. He said that if that were true, then surely I would fail at an unexpected task. He then sighted a snow-covered boulder a good distance away and told me to take it out. If any part of the rock still stood after one shot, I would fail. Mogren smirked as Henry took on a concerned look and the review board watched. I took my stance, aimed the scope, closed my eyes for a second, drew a deep breath, and fired at the boulder, hoping beyond hope that I would ht the right spot to destroy it properly. With that, the boulder was gone, and the Red Officer shook my hand and Henry’s. I was now a Black Rocket Weapons Tech. The review board walked back to their vehicle as Henry led them, promising a gourmet meal before their departure later that night. I was walking back to my own vehicle when I felt Mogren’s hand grab my arm. Oh, was he angry. He was seething so badly I thought he’d melt through the snow he was standing on. “How?” was all he could manage to say. “Skill.” Was my reply as I broke away from him and climbed into my own vehicle to return to the base. My last sight before I left was Mogren stomping through the snow to the command vehicle, where Henry sat in the front passenger set with the Red Officer, still beaming and talking. I’ve done it. I’ve bested them all, and out proven Mogren. This is Black Rocket Weapons Technician Raven Janet Koldron closing this entry. Good night, all.
September 13
A mere week as a Black rocket Weapons Tech, and already I’ve been tapped for a mission… a high-level one, at that. Seems some Black rocket named Miyamoto Randwhyte wants to leave the Team. Of course, it’s just not that simple without a relative to barter for your freedom, heh, heh, heh… Anyway, Henry tells me that a coded bulletin with the seal of Madam Boss herself calling for the execution of this Randwhyte character has come down as a priority order, and he’s turning it over to me.
Apparently, Randwhyte is being sent on the pretense that she is to check out those carvings that Beta Group found in the caves on the south sector of the Base, and Henry wants me to fire the rounds into the mountain that will cause an avalanche and trap her inside the caves. Naturally, they would pick their newest Black Rocket Weapons Tech for the job… This is such an opportunity! I know I’ll prove myself to be an invaluable asset. The most treasured weapons tech in this organization, the best one of all. My devotion will be the stuff of legend, my dedication absolute.
September 16
I’m beginning to scare myself. Today was the day, Randwhyte’s last day on Earth. It was something she never saw coming. This morning I was down in the entrance hall of the Base with Henry, Mogren, Carroway, and Hansen waiting to see the target that I would soon eliminate. When Randwhyte approached her survey team, I stayed off to the side and watched her carefully. She seemed so nice and professional… hardly the traitor the bulletin had made her out to be. As I followed Henry to wait with him in a bunker until it was time to do the deed and dispose of Miyamoto, I tried so hard to focus my thoughts on myself, Annie, and Carrie, not on that woman.
In the bunker, there was little to do but sit as Henry watched the group’s progress on a tracking monitor. I quickly tired of the beeps of the monitor and tuned it out as I focused on the chrome bazooka and the Class 4 Phosphor-B shells I had selected for the job. Slowly, it all hit me full force and I began thinking of the target… in terms a weapons tech should not use. Who was this woman? I found myself thinking. Did she have a lover? A child? A Family? Would she be missed? I had to focus so hard on those brass-plated shells to draw my thoughts away from Randwhyte that I barely heard it when Henry told me that it was time. Once I was outside, everything took over as I had been trained. The bright orange signal flag told me that Mogren, Carroway, and Hansen were out of the caves. A minute passed as they got clear, then… in went the shells one by one, click, clack, click, clack, boom, boom, boom, boom… then silence. That was it. The cave was hopelessly buried under an impenetrable layer of snow, ice, rock, and debris, and I was numb.
After that last shell hit, I stared in disbelief at the aftermath. I had just sentenced Randwhyte to a frozen grave, a tomb where she would most likely go mad before starving to death. I sat there in the snow in silence until I felt a hand on my shoulder. It was Mogren. He had a tight smile as he looked at me and said, “Well done, Koldron.” With that he left, and I have since come to know an undeniable truth… Until Carrie and Annie are free, for me there will be no respite, nor forgiveness from my own guilt. I’ve been commended by Mogren, and in doing so, I have become the killer he wanted. God, I’ve actually sunk low enough to be accepted by him. What has happened?
September 20
It’s the middle of the night. I just woke up in a cold sweat from a nightmare. I was out there in the field, and I was getting ready to fire those shells to seal Randwhyte in the cave, but when I fired the last shell, my surroundings suddenly changed. I was in the cave! I was actually in there with her, watching as she heard the impact and ran back up the tunnel to find the wall of snow. She cried so hard, knowing she was trapped. That was when she saw me with my weapon, and begged me to help her get out. I felt so horrible that I aimed by bazooka at the snow, trying to blast our way out, but all that came out when I pulled the trigger was more snow. That was when I heard Mogren’s laughter, and woke up to his voice telling me what a good job I had done. I can’t sleep anymore tonight. I think I’ll take a walk…
October 2
I’ve received an emergency order to temporarily return to Viridian City by order of Madam Boss. I have absolutely no idea why, only that I’ve been called specifically to appear before her. My transport has been arranged and I’ve been told to travel light, with only a few day’s clothing and a weapon. Virgil is outside my door now to escort me to my transport, another rotten night flight. Ugh.
October 3
I’ve been crying for almost two hours now. I found out exactly why I was called back to Viridian so suddenly. Carrie betrayed us… No, she betrayed the team. The Team. Last week, not long after I dispatched Randwhyte, in fact, Carrie double-crossed Madam Boss by giving the police information about where some Team soldiers were planning a heist instead of feeding them misinformation like she had been ordered to. Carrie must have lost her resolve, but honestly, how could my sister have been so foolish as to not expect retribution? Oh, if only I’d been allowed to tell her of what I’ve been doing… that I was working to secure her freedom!
Needless to say, Madam Boss is furious. She’s ordered me to go to Carrie’s home and kill her as a test of my loyalty. At first, I told her that there was simply no way I could do it, but then she presented me with an ultimatum. If I do perform the execution, she will permit me to return with Annie and raise my niece as a Rocket. I’ll be transferred to Viridian City, and I will remain here as a weapons Tech with Annie. If not, an assassin will be sent to kill them both. Madam Boss wants my decision by tomorrow morning. Either way, I know that I have failed my only sister, but maybe, just maybe, I can save my only niece. Dear God, please help me. Help me know what do, what to tell Madam Boss tomorrow…
October 4
I’ve made my choice, even if it will be hell to live with. No matter what I do, Carrie will be killed. There is no way around this fact. However, if I do agree to it, at least Annie will be spared. The thought of a hardened Team assassin using a gun on that child sickens me more than any nightmare I could have had about Randwhyte, indeed more than anything I ever thought possible. All night, I tried to come up with an alternate way of dealing with the situation, a way to fake Carrie’s death and let her go free, but I know the only way for such a plan to succeed would be to bring Annie back with me, and I know Carrie would never go on without her. Even if I were to just tell her to run with Annie, I know it would be fruitless. The Team is everywhere, and it would only be a matter of time before all three of us found ourselves dead by an assassin’s bullet. In the end, I did the only thing I could and told Madam Boss that I had agreed to perform the execution. I leave shortly to go and do the deed. Exactly how I’ll manage to pull it off, I’ll never know…
October 6
My niece is asleep on my bed with a blissful smile on her face. God help me, I’ve sold my soul to these monsters. I made the trip yesterday to Carrie’s small house, and found Annie playing in the front yard. She ran up to me and hugged me, so excited to be seeing her aunt. It was all I could to smile and hug her back as I told her in a soft voice to go and play in the backyard, that I was here to visit her mother, and that I’d see her in a few minutes. Annie skipped to the back yard with such innocence. I turned to my jeep and retrieved the .45 automatic with silencer that I had selected for the task. I checked it, then clicked a bullet into the chamber and walked slowly to Carrie’s door, the gun behind my back. When I entered, I found Carrie with her back to me standing by the sink washing dishes. I approached her quietly, and she turned around to see who had entered. Immediately, she was able to sense that something was wrong. I wasn’t able to say a word as I drew the gun and pointed it at her. I whispered my apology and pulled the trigger, hitting my sister square between the eyes. She fell to the ground with barely a sound, and I checked her over. She was gone instantly. I dried my tears as best I could, then stood up and tried to compose myself. I walked out the back door to where Annie was playing. I tried to sound innocent and composed as I told her that her mother had had an accident inside and that I would take care of her from now on. Annie looked confused, and tried to walk back inside. Knowing that she should never see Carrie as she was, I picked Annie up in my arms and carried her to my jeep. I placed her in the passenger seat as she burst into tears and cried for her mother. I cried too, watching her turmoil. I sadly and firmly explained to her that I would take her somewhere safe, somewhere where nothing bad would happen to her. The poor girl asked if she could see her mother one last time, and I had to tell her no. I actually had to refuse my niece that last chance! How could I do such a thing to her? On the other hand, how could I allow her to see Carrie like that, dead with a bullet in her head? Annie cried like I had never thought possible as I drove her away from her home. We spent the afternoon at a lake on the edge of Pallet Town, where I did everything I could to explain the situation without telling her the awful truth. Heaven forgive me for the lies I told that precious child.
Finally, after hours of crying, hugging, and questions, I asked Annie if she was ready to go to her new home, and she replied that she thought so. As we drove back to headquarters, Annie looked all around at the buildings of Viridian. This was her first time in the city, and her youthful curiosity had taken the place of her grief. Finally, we arrived at Headquarters, and I began to lead her down the hallway to the room that Madam Boss had arranged to be my quarters. On the way, we encountered one of the Red Elite, and I saluted her out of pure reflex. Annie had the most curious glint in her eye as she saw my salute to the other woman and she asked me why I had done such a thing. I replied by telling her that this was a sort of club, and that the other woman had been one of my leaders. Annie smiled vaguely as we watched the woman walk away, and I swear thoughts were running through her mind of the woman, though what exactly her thoughts were, I cannot say.
When we entered my quarters, Annie looked around with a smiling curiosity, almost as if she had filed away all thoughts of her old home. She ran to the desk in the corner and sat down at it. I smiled at her as she asked if she too could join my “club”. I replied to her that we would have to wait and see.
Later we had dinner together in the cafeteria, where Annie’s eyes surveyed everything curiously, though most of her attention seemed to be on a table populated with a number of the Red Elite members.
Now, she’s asleep, and I can only hope that her dreams are pleasant. God, protect this child… When she’s old enough, lead her away from here and never let her know this life I know. That is my only hope.
At this point, Raven’s
diary was placed in a lock box and hidden from the eyes of Annie,
so that she would never discover her aunt’s secret.
Raven’s journals continued in other volumes through her death, though
they were never as revealing as these have been.